Boobs man. Boobs.
Of all the things to get in the way of a successful shoot I never thought boobs might be one of them.
Katherine and I worked hard on this shot. I had my vision. She had the look (Big blue eyes, long blonde hair and full pouty lips. Often labeled DSL’s). She brought her makeup and after disrobing, she looked the part.
“The fan is gonna blow your hair up around your face like Pocahontas. You’ll look beautiful….”
“…..You’ll look majestic…”
“….you’ll look….well fuck! Fuck this fan!!”
Needless to say, fan experts we are not. But I needed her hair flowing around her. Sure I could add the effect later in Photoshop but it wouldn’t be the same. I like to have as many real elements as possible before I begin editing.
Would you like to see our setup?
WHOA! I can’t even handle how professional we are! *rolls eyes*. Ok, so a dusty old fan leaning on a vase in front of cheap closet doors doesn’t exactly scream professional, BUT we got the shot eventually. Isn’t that all that matters?! No? Well shit.
After a half an hour or so of messing with the fan, the lighting, the angle, exposure, aperture, shutter speed (makeup malfunction), blah blah blah, we finally got it right.
Until I sat down to edit…..HOLY MASSIVE TATAS BATMAN!!
Granted, It’s not Katherine’s fault that she was blessed with such magical breasteses. But they were literally all. I. could. look. at. Not that they were so huge they took up half the photo. More like, their gravitational pull was forcing my eyes down at every picture. And If I was looking, then so would everyone else. And what would become of all my wonderful work? All the sweat and long hours I put into editing would be lost! LOST FOREVER!
The bottom half of every shot was squeeze worthy, and my beautiful, majestic, Air Goddess shoot was looking more and more like soft core porn. Yeesh. (Katherine and I have worked together before, she being a photographer too. So she knows how quickly an artsy photo shoot can turn Maxim).
I took one more look through my menagerie (This time curbing my perverted tendencies) And I came across one that was the PERFECT shot!
Katty’s got those Tyra smize going on, and just the right amount of cleavage:
Boom. Gorgeous! Intense eyes. Little wisps of hair floating around her angelic face. What is missing? How about a good ol’ Forrest Gump feather? A nice scouring of my chicken coops brought us this beauty:
And with a little skin editing, tweaking of the light and adding the feather, we have:
Now we’re getting somewhere!
The magic came next, and it took me almost three days to Tinkerbell it up. This photo has been the toughest, so far, to edit. I’m not sure why, but I worked hard making it look like Air Incarnate. Several layers were added, around 15 or so, to bring in the feel that this being was ethereal, godlike. I went ahead and added clouds around the bottom half (Sorry perverts!) but I didn’t have cleavage in my original vision (Probably because I mostly photograph myself, and I sport a nice set of over-easy fried eggs in my blouse)
If you want a boring photography tip, I’ll share this giblet with you: If you’re going to be adding anything into a photograph, a feather for example, shoot it against black. It helps, trust me.
Are you ready for the finished product? I bet your ass is just puckering in anticipation. Well clench no further!:
Behold! Air Goddess. Air is sexy yet innocent. She likes long walks on the beach and mixed drinks free of roofies. Earth, Water and Fire are always and forever jealous of her beautiful, fluffy knockers. (Fire wonders how Air runs very fast with those) The world may never know.